Stanley: Wow. We're still here. Don't try looking us up in the phonebook.

Jonah: And if Mr. Kincaid answers the phone...

Stanley: Don't tell him about our eBay auctions!

Jonah: What's the plan, Stan?

Stanley: You know, I just found another copy of an item I thought we'd sold out of way back in the fall of 2000. And looking back through the transcripts, I got all nostalgic. Those were kindler, gentler days.

Jonah: What's your point?

Stanley: We should let the people see what wuz on our minds when we first tried to sell this particular joint. When it still looked like there was an outside chance George W. Bush wasn't gonna get away with a stolen presidential election. Sh-t, they'll bust your a-s in a hurry in this country if you rob a damn 7-11, but steal the US Presidency? Guess it helps if your daddy appointed the swing votes on the Supreme Court.

Jonah: So this is like, a retro auction.

Stanley: Yeah, 'cuz we wish we could turn the clock back on all of Bush's wackness. No war in Iraq, no tax cuts for the super rich, no recession, and according to Emma, maybe even no CIA blind eye towards the perpetrators of 9-11 in the weeks before they took out the World Trade Centers. Man, how come Gore Vidal is the only motherf--ker bold enuf to call it like he sees it and accuse the Bush junta of complicity in that sh-t?

Jonah: Maybe because now he lives in Europe. Hey, maybe the CIA really didn't know anything about the terrorists' plans. 9-11 fell in their laps like a Christmas present, and its was just an unfortunate coincidence that it scared the US public into supporting any get-tough-on-terrorism foreign military adventures the warmongers could dream up, with Bush thinking it's all part of God's plan for him to be leading the country in this moment of manufactured "crisis," cheerleading every step of the way.

Stanley: Yeah, real coincidental, real convenient. Just like Paul Wellstone's plane going down on the same afternoon Ted Kennedy was up in Minnesota campaigning for him. Y'know, Kennedy was supposed to be on that frigging plane! Just like Mel Carnahan's plane crashing in Missouri when he was leading John Ashcroft in the polls in the 2000 election cycle! Only with Wellstone, they made sure his wife was on the plane, too, so she couldn't pull a Jean Carnahan and get elected to the Senate in his place!

Jonah: Why you gotta be all conspiratorial, man? Both those crashes coulda just been accidents.

Stanley: Sure, it's possible...but I doubt it.

Jonah: So check it out. Two days after the elections and they still don't know who won. Except for one thing - obviously, Gore won.

Stanley: Gotta hand it to George DWI Bush, thinking he could pull a fast one, steal the election in the state where his brother was Governor, use state troopers to intimidate some black voters while he was at it, just for added kicks, and nobody would notice! Brilliant plan.

Jonah: I heard Mindy Tucker, Bush's press secretary, on the radio today. She was being all shrill, saying sh-t like, well, I hope the Gore campaign doesn't plan on challenging the Florida results. Then Juan whats-his-name asked her, well, what about Pat Buchanan admitting on the Today show this morning that over 3,000 votes counted for him were probably meant for Gore, more than enough to give him the winning margin?

Stanley: So what'd she say?

Jonah: "Oh, I don't know what Pat Buchanan's talking about. I can't speak to his comments."

Stanley: Priceless. This whole mess is priceless. Well, f--k that, let's sell some stuff!

Jonah: Look at this. A promo video. From Busta Ryhmes.

Stanley: Cool. Gimme Some More. This is a really funny video. Have you seen this?

Jonah: No.

Stanley: It's funny, man. It's off his full-length CD/LP called E.L.E., which dropped back in late 1998, I think.

Jonah: What's that stand for? Endless Lame Elections?

Stanley: Extinction Level Event. On the real tip, this is an actual promo copy of this video, straight from Elektra, you were supposed to get the video when you bought the LP.

Jonah: Obviously, somebody forget theirs.

Stanley: And it's a good damn thing, 'cuz now we gots hold of it, and it's ready to fund our revolutionary cause.

Jonah: Are you sure all this money's not going to buy snacks for the break room?

Stanley: This video's a lucky find for any Busta Rhymes fiend. Bid on it!

(Disclaimer: The above is fictional and for entertainment purposes only. You are bidding on a promo VHS copy of Busta Rhymes' "Gimme Some More" video, released 1998 by Elektra Entertainment. Video and box are in mint condition, still sealed in original plastic shrinkwrap. High bidder pays $4.00 S&H via Media Mail - US buyers only. International buyers pay actual shipping costs - use the shipping calculator, or will quote rates to specific destinations on request. Combine shipping on multiple items and save - see our other auctions. Payment by money order or credit cards accepted using PayPal.)