NEW NOVELTY RE ENERGIZER ITS FALLEN CAN'T GET UP BRIEFS

THESE ARE A PRACTICAL JOKE ITEM.  NOT INTENDED FOR ACTUAL WEAR.  NOVELTY USE ONLY.

YOU ARE BIDDING ON A BRAND NEW STILL SEALED IN THERE ORIGINAL PACKAGE OVER THE HILL RE-ENERGIZER BRIEFS UNDERWEAR.  ON THE FRONT OF THE BRIEFS IT SAYS "FOR WHEN IT'S FALLEN AND IT CAN'T GET UP".  MADE BY BOUNTY OF THE LOINS.  GREEN IT COLOR, WITH WHITE ELASTIC AROUND WAIST AND RED AROUND THE LEG HOLES.

ON THE FRONT OF THE PACKAGE IT SAYS--BOUNTY OF THE LOINS-PUTTING TECHNOLOGY IN YOUR SHORTS.  BOUNTY OF THE LOINS-BRINGING BOOD THINGS TO LIFE. 

AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PACKAGE IT SAYS--WARNING: BECAUSE YOU ARE OLD..VITAL BODY PARTS ARE SEVERELY "WORN".  WITHOUT PROPER USE OF THESE BRIEFS, DEMANDING TO MUCH, TOO OFTEN FROM THESE VITAL PARTS COULD BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH.

ON THE BACK OF THE PACKAGE IT SAYS

THERE COMES A TIME IN EVERY MANS LIFE WHEN HE FEELS, WELL, NOT AS RECHARGEABLE AS HE ONCE WAS.

NOW THROUGH THE NIRACLE OF MODERN SCIENCE, A SPACE AGE CONBINATION OF SUPER PUDDY, TRANSPARENT STAINLESS FLEX STEEL AND BIONIC BUNGY CORD ARE WOVEN INTO EVERY PAIR OF THESE AMAZING BRIEFS, GIVING THE WEARER THE STRENGTH TO DEFY THE FORCES OF AGE AND GRAVITY.

WHEN YOU THINK YOU HAVE A STAMINA PROBLEM, CALL YOUR DOCTO.  WHEN YOU KNOW "ITS FALLEN AND IT CAN'T GET UP!" CALL YOU FRIENDS AT BOUNTY OF THE LOINS.

PACKAGE SAYS ONE SIZE ENERGIZES ALL.

THE TAG THAT IS ATTACHED SAYS--ODE TO AN AGING MAN.  WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG AND IN YOUR PRIME, IT WOULD STAND UP ANY OLD TIME, BUT NOW YOU'RE PLD AND NO STUD PUP, AND ONCE ITS FALLEN IT CAN'T GET UP.

AGAIN, THESE ARE FOR NOVELTY USE ONLY AND ARE NOT INTENDED TO ACTUALLY BE WORN.

BUYER TO PAY $5.00 S/H

**EFFECTIVE OCTOBER 20, 2008 EBAY ONLY ALLOWS ONLINE PAYMENT METHODS. THEREFORE, I CAN ONLY ACCEPT PAYPAL.

**PAYPAL PAYMENTS CAN ONLY BE SHIPPED TO THE ADDRESS PAYPAL LISTS ON THE PAYMENT - NO EXCEPTIONS**

**PAYMENTS MUST BE RECEIVED WITHIN 7 CALENDAR DAYS.

**FOR COMBINED S/H TO APPLY ITEMS MUST ALL END WITHIN 7 DAYS AND BE PAID FOR WITH ONE PAYMENT THANK YOU!

**I SELL AND SHIP TO THE UNITED STATES ONLY. IF YOU ARE IN CANADA OR OTHER LOCATION OUTSIDE THE US, PLEASE DO NOT BID. INTERNATIONAL BIDS WILL NOT BE HONORED. -- NO EXCEPTIONS!!!

**FOR PAYMENTS WITH PAYPAL, I CAN ONLY SHIP TO THE ADDRESS LISTED ON THE ACCOUNT AND PAYMENT.

**FOR COMBINED S/H TO APPLY TO ITEMS, THEY MUST END WITHIN 7 DAYS AND ONE COMBINED PAYMENT MUST BE MADE FOR ALL ITEMS

**I DO NOT ALLOW PICKUPS.

 **FLAT RATE SHIPPING PRICES ARE FOR THE LOWER 48 STATES ONLY.

 **IF YOU LIVE IN ALASKA OR HAWAII or if you have a military address, PLEASE EMAIL FOR A SHIPPING RATE TO YOU.

**HEAVY FLAT RATE ITEM SHIPPING PRICES ARE TO A PHYSICAL ADDRESS ONLY. IF YOUR ADDRESS IS A P O BOX, PLEASE VERIFY.

**Items shipped USPS or FEDEX Ground ONLY. Calculator in auction may show UPS Ground, but they will ship fedex ground.

**INSURANCE OF $1.70 PER $50 BID PRICE IS OPTIONAL, BUT HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. I CANNOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR PACKAGES THAT ARE LOST, BROKEN, OR DAMAGED IN THE SHIPPING THAT ARE NOT INSURED. IF YOU CHOOSE NOT TO PURCHASE INSURANCE, YOU ASSUME THE RESPONSIBILITY FOR ITEMS WHICH ARE LOST OR DAMAGED IN SHIPPING. INSURANCE IS REQUIRED ON MOST ELECTRONIC ITEMS AND POSSIBLY SOME OTHER ITEMS -- IF REQUIRED IT WILL BE LISTED IN THE AUCTION TEXT ABOVE

**DELIVERY CONFIRMATION CAN BE ADDED FOR $0.50 IF DESIRED.

 **I ship Monday, Wednesday, and Friday ONLY

**Payments must be recieved by 10:00 PM CST to go out the next shipping day.

**Some items can be combined to save you shipping, some cannot -- larger or prepackaged items for example cannot. Please email if you are interested. Due to the new way postal rates are figured I do not have a set combined shipping rule.  Plese email me with all the items you are interested in and your zip code and I'll get back to you with a combined rate.

**For combined s/h rate to apply ONE combined payment must be made for all items and items must end within 7 days.

**PAYMENTS ARE DUE WITHIN 7 CALENDAR DAYS. *

*I ACCEPT PAYMENTS FROM US PAYPAL ACCOUNTS (IN US DOLLARS)ONLY.

** PAYPAL CAN ONLY SHIP TO THE ADDRESS LISTED ON THE PAYMENT AND ACCOUNT-- NO EXCEPTIONS. *

* ** I START ITEMS AT CLOSE TO MY COST TO PASS SAVINGS ON TO YOU, SO I CANNOT AFFORD TO ACCEPT RETURNS. UNLESS I HAVE MADE A GROSS ERROR IN THE LISTING. NEW ITEMS HAVE NEVER BEEN OPENED OR CHECKED (SINCE THEY HAVEN'T BEEN OPENED) UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED IN THE AUCTION TEXT. SINCE I AM NOT THE MANUFACTURER AND DO NOT PACKAGE THE ITEMS MYSELF, AND I CANNOT CHECK A SEALED BOX OR PACKAGE, SEALED ITEMS ARE SOLD AS IS.  CLOTHING HAS MEASUREMENTS LISTED IN THE AUCTIONS -- IF YOU NEED A MEASUREMENT NOT LISTED, EMAIL BEFORE LISTING -- CLOTHING IS NOT RETURNABLE BECAUSE IT DOES NOT FIT.  NO EXCEPTIONS! I WILL NOT REFUND FOR BUYERS REMORSE. BY BIDDING YOU AGREE TO THESE TERMS.**

**FEEDBACK: It is my policy to leave feedback AFTER it has been left for me. Usually within 24 hours. I am an individual seller, so it is time consuming. I have a program set up through my listing service, auctiva, that returns feedback for me usually within 24 hours.

**Please add 6.475% MO Sales Tax to the TOTAL PRICE (THIS IS THE PURCHASE PRICE PLUS SHIPPING) if you are in Missouri. Sorry, but it's Missouri State Law.