The HiPhone is now for sale - you know you want it

Beware of imitations. You want the original - the first and the best. Introducing the HiPhone.

How long have you searched for the perfect smart phone?

Feature packed with 512 MB of flash memory, and the ability to make phone calls in crystal clear fidelity (but no guarantees), the HiPhone is bound to get you noticed at all the right parties in The Bronx, Brixton, or Narre Warren South.

When asked if he'd used the HiPhone, Corey Worthington mumbled: "I have, everybody has, and they love it!"

A must have when picking up babes, recent road tests prove that Dental Assistants and Plastic Surgeon’s Nurses cannot resist the allure of any man touting the HiPhone. Well, all nurses in fact – you know there are only 2 sure things in life! Will probably appeal just as much with Flight-Attendants, but I wouldn’t recommend anyone actually date one. I should know - I married one. Girls in Marketing and Advertising are just basically stuck-up. They think they’re better than me. Why, because you earn more than me? Like that’s hard.

The built in Camera won't shoot video, potentially saving years of your life behind bars for recording some of those party moments you maybe shouldn't have.

Not to mention Dual-SIM capabilities. Dual-SIM means 2 phone numbers! Enabling you to have 2 girl friends at once & never get caught. Unless you’re stupid, but a stupid person wouldn't buy a HiPhone, now would they? Dual-SIM - also known as “Philanderers-Friend” - just may, for a low one-time payment, save you ten of thousands in a future tangled divorce settlement(s). THANK YOU, HiPhone.

The latest WAP web browsing, a log of calls made, and Bluetooth's ability to connect you to a better device round out the HiPhone's numerous enhancements.

But wait, there’s more. To protect your investment a tough poly encasement is included. That’s a $0.99 value absolutely free!

Although presented in a glossy black retail box, this has been taped over, meaning it can no longer be used as a gift, but instead a great asset for the man or woman who thought they had everything.

As the good folk at HiPhone say: Innovation changes the future

Delivery Australia wide is via Express Post Platinum (it is a HiPhone after all) for a cost of only $11.50.

Overseas delivery is via Fedex, please contact me for a quote.

I will not ship to Nigeria, as I’ve been scammed before, and am a little smarter now than you may think. So make your fake purchases on someone else's auction. HiPhone owners can smell a fake at 50 paces. That’s not a dare, just go away.

Pick-up can be made from Narre Warren South, in front of the cop shop. Daylight hours only please.

Payment is by PayPal. I love PayPal.

Will consider barter arrangement with competent low-hourly-rate divorce attorney.

EU buyers shop at own risk, the HiPhone probably violates all applicable wireless device bylaws - and not just in Europe.

Inspection welcome, the HiPhone will exceed any modest expectation!