I am selling my sports loyalty to all major teams

I am selling my loyalty to the team you cheer for, any of the teams are up for grabs except the Buffalo Bills (my current team).  I am so frustrated with this rag tag organization of under acheivers that I want a new team and my loyalty can be bought.  The winning bidder will receive a certificate of authentification stating that I am now a die hard ____________ fan.  I will watch every Sunday/Monday game, put money on that team (in reasonable amounts), blog about them on blogger.com, buy a jersey of your favorite player, twitter, and finally get some type of team tattoo which the winning bidder can either design, or pick out.  I will film the whole thing for your winning bidders viewing pleasure.  Size and location will be discussed with the winner.

I am selling my loyalty for the major 4 north american sports, this include NBA, NHL, NFL, MLB.  Each winner will be getting the same package and same rights.